The Free things in Life are the Best

By -
The Free Things in Life are the Best

We have reached that stage in our beloved hamlet (by a long shot) of "Sennai", to use colloquial lingo, where Summer has really kicked in. To be honest, the city seems to go through some yearly transformation from late April to early July, much like the December Peter Vidufying Season. I call this Sennai's Summer Syndrome. (Nice alliteration, don't you think?)
The most obvious sign of this is the drastic rise in temperatures. The sun goes from Microwave Mode (July to March) into Let's-Roast-the-Shite-Out-of-Them mode (April to June). 
I'm not kidding. Temperatures hover around 40 degrees C  (that's 313 Kelvin, to you nerds) and the sky is characterised by a depressing pale, white colour, like even the Vibrant Mid day blue and Sunset Red have gone away on vacation. 
The people too change. Everyone becomes more irritable, especially my neighbour-mama, who sees fit to launch a string of expletives at me, virtually every day.
In the interest of full disclosure, I must reveal that I thoroughly deserve whatever profanity he hurls my way, for I annoy him to no level.  (I just noted that level is a palindrome)
I use his Wi-Fi to download huge amounts of music, and on a weekly basis, I write graffiti on his compound wall. (For instance, yesterday, I painted "P James Magic Show 9176410568"). I even made him read this blog. 
But I think what bothers him most is that I steal large amounts of Mangoes from his Mango tree. 
I should explain that he lives in an independent house, with a towering Mango tree, that can give around 300 mangoes on a good season. Anyway, me, my brother and a friend hatch elaborate plans to take his fruit, and share the spoils. A good week entails around 3 attempted thefts, and about 25 ripe, golden, luscious mangoes. Thus far, from the first week of April, we have "repossessed" 78 mangoes, and we are showing no signs of slowing down. 
A proposed modification to the Bhagavad Gita, that neighbour-mama loves quoting-
"Perform your duty, without thing about the fruits of your actions, because the #%€$¥& from next door are probably taking them right now, as you speak". 
Just so you know, my parents are in on this too. For instance, just today, when neighbour-mama marched up to my father and complained that 18 of his fruit were missing, he said- "18 fruit missing? It looks like some kind of Magic." 

PS There is a massive mango tree in my complex too, but I have noted that dishes (pickles, thokkus, salads, etc.) made from his mangoes are better. This is an example of the Indian OC Theory- the free things in life are the best.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reductio ad Absurdium, or Something of the Sort

By -
Reductio ad Absurdium, or Something of the Sort I was talking to my friend, regarding football, when he said the most amazingly pragmatic, yet absurd statement of all time- "It's just wrong to see 22 men with no priorities in life running around with a ball. Won't it be more fair, if they could run around with 22 balls instead?" Actually, they run around with a total of 44, but that's not the point. (Pardon the crude double entendre).  At face value, the sentence is true, none can doubt it. These men have no sense of responsibility, towards themselves, or towards society. I mean, what is the point of spending your twenties and thirties, your most productive time of life, playing a game? Yes, I said game, for it is one, it is not a sport. A sportsman is one who has been tried and tested by life, and has come out on top. A gamer is a person wasting time playing for self gratification.  There, I am going to say it. Without meaning to offend anyone, I fe...
Read more

SevEar Trauma

By -
I must confess, I have this terrible habit, when I put stuff in my ear in an attempt to remove wax. My favourite excavatory tool is an old paintbrush that is ideally suited for the specialised task of de-waxification of the outer auditory canal.  Anyway, after one night of particularly vicious violation of my ear, I woke up today, not being able to hear out of my left ear. This was a serious situation, not just because of the various physical manifestations of partial deafness (inclusive of this pounding headache), but because my parents constantly warn me against my disgusting personal habit, lest something like this should happen. It seemed like a dangerous precedent to let them know that they could be right. So I quickly ran to the local hospital, where the ENT Doctor was my father's friend. When I got there, he was seeing a patient, and attempting to remove what seemed later to be a channa bean (fat lentil) from the nose of a five year old. I couldn't be bothered...
Read more

The Guy Up There Proposition

By -
(Note- written in October 2014; published in December 2017) I'll try to address the age old question- Do we have free will, or is everything in our lives predetermined?  It appears that we have capacity for individual thought, and can behave independently, but there are some that argue that our lives move as per the universe's plan. You have to admit, both camps do have features that appeal and make sense. The former lends some meaning to our lives, while the latter takes all pressure off us to do anything at all.  I somewhere heard an interesting tale, of a scientific experiment, where electrodes were plugged into a volunteer's brain, and he was offered some simple choices (like black or white, up or down, 3 or 4). The experiment revealed that scientists sitting in the adjoining room where able to predict his response, seconds before he gave it, bearing testament for the proposition that we truly lack free will.   To what level this is true, I don't know. M...
Read more